Chuck Norris

In the annals of American, nay, world history, there is one man who stands above and beyond the rest. That man is Chuck Norris. Did you know that there is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris's computer? Chuck Norris is always in control. This is a man who is more than human, a man who can run so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. This is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got his start back in 1969, and began doing kung fu movies that would make Jason Statham proud. Early in his career, he got his butt kicked by Bruce Lee, while a kitten looked on. Those Asian movies are always a little weird like that. Wow, that guy is hairy. But then, as Chuck Norris is the symbol of all men, of course he would have to be hairy. As he continued, he was in Delta Force, a movie that I have never seen, but which looks awesome. On my desk at work, I have a copy of a picture from a magazine from 1986, which is a picture of Chuck Norris with a bazooka. The caption says, "Chuck Norris, reasoning with the bad guys." After that, he was in a few other little gems, until he finally became Walker, Texas Ranger. Very little has happened in his career since then, except for the advent of the amazing amount of Chuck Norris jokes. Remember, if you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

So, here's to the man who once roundhouse kicked someone so fast that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Erhart as she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Here's to the man who can win a game of connect four in only three moves. The man who doesn't sleep, he waits. Here's to Chuck Norris, the man, the legend.