Tuesday, November 15, 2011

On Mediocrity

So, it's late at night and I should probably be in bed, as I drive for a living. However, I have a few thoughts jumping around in my head that I really want to commit to the Internets before they cool down and relieve me of this chance to alienate a few of my female readers. How do I intend to do this you ask? First, there's the title of this post. Next, there's the picture I'm about to post:

Yes, that's correct. I just said that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was mediocre. Okay, now all of you people who loved the movie can be alienated. I apologize for alienating you. Please come back. Now that that's done, I wish to continue with my line of reasoning.

First of all, I want something made clear. The Harry Potter series is one of my very favorite. As far as I'm concerned, J.K. Rowling did an amazing job and she's pretty much a genius. I rank Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as probably my first or second favorite book. In fact, now I think about it, I think it takes second, as I think that Mistborn is now my favorite book. That Brandon Sanderson is a genius. However, I love the books. I've loved them ever since I discovered them as a freshman in high school. I have read the first and third books about seven times each, and listened to every single book at least twice, if not three times. I devoured the sixth book in less than 24 hours. You could ask me almost any question about something that happens in the books, and the odds are that I could give you the correct answer. You could even ask me about spell incantations or how apparition works or the name of Percy Weasley's owl, or even the name of the goblin that Harry used the Imperius curse on (Gornuk), and I could tell you those things, too. When it comes to Harry Potter, I am a huge nerd and I really really like the books.

That all being said, I still hold that I was not a very big fan of the final movie in the series. In fact, the movies bother me quite a bit. I really haven't been impressed with any of them. However, it astounds me how almost everyone around me thinks that they were amazing. The interesting thing about this, however, is that when I point out the many flaws of the movies and the reasons why they are lame, they agree with me, but then they say something to the effect of, "But I HAVE to love it, because it's HARRY POTTER!" (That last part should be said in a higher-pitched voice, because the people saying this are generally female.) To me, this line of reasoning is all sorts of flawed. Just because a movie is based on some of the best books written in the last decade does not give it an excuse to be mediocre, or, in the case of a couple of the movies, just plain lame. In fact, I think that this should make us hold it to a higher standard, and to shun it if it sucks.

For example, among other things, the final movie just seemed really forced to me. Granted, I knew exactly what was supposed to happen, but the film makers had to anticipate that most of their audience would. However, every time something exciting happened, I felt like they just screamed through it, not making it exciting or even really interesting. When they revealed something amazing, like a twist, I felt like they were forcefully shoving it down my throat. It just wasn't smooth. Even parts that were just dialogue, like Harry talking to Dumbledore in his dream, just didn't seem smooth and felt really rushed. Overall, I have to say that I just wasn't impressed.

Anyway, those are the main thoughts I have on this movie. Once again, if I've alienated anyone, I apologize. I promise that my next post will be much less controversial. But, if you don't want any controversy, why the heck are you reading my blog? (That's a rhetorical question. Don't stop reading my blog.) That being said, I leave you with the usual, an amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Friday, November 4, 2011

On Diagrams

So, I've got to say, this is probably pretty accurate. I particularly want to say that because I'm pretty sure that all of the circles describe me pretty well:




Double Check.


Seriously, have you met me?


So, basically, what we're gathering here is that I'm Batman. Except that isn't true. I don't really have the disposition to be Batman. Or, for that matter, the money (which, by the way, is Batman's true superpower). Besides, I already have a superhero name! Also, I'm pretty sure that if I were going to be a superhero, I would want to first acquire superpowers. I'm still waiting for that to happen. I'm pretty sure it will someday. Maybe even soon. I'm banking on teleportation, or, failing that, telekinesis.

All of that being said, I make an end for this post. And, even though I've already posted two pictures of myself, I'm going to go ahead and leave you with another amazing picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

On Mary Woodall

So, those (few) of you who read my blog regularly may remember how I put out a request a while ago for suggestions. I received like two. That was not a surprise. However, one of the request that I received was to write a post about my good friend Mary and how awesome she is. I've decided to do just that in this post. Here follows a few of the reasons why Mary is awesome.

First of all, Mary is someone who I really respect. She's been through a lot more than I have, and I think it's amazing how she's held up through all of it and still managed to be such an awesome person.

Second of all, she's hilarious! Mary is super fun to hang out with because she loves to laugh and do fun things. Her wheeze laugh is amazing, and very contagious. When you're hanging out with Mary and you're both in the mood for fun, you can't help but have a great time!

Third of all, she has all of the seasons of Psych on DVD. Anyone who doesn't think that that's awesome is a communist.

Fourth of all, she's Mary. She an awesome person, an awesome friend, and I'm super glad to know her. If I had never met Mary, I'm pretty sure my life would be cold and dreary. Okay, so that may not be entirely true, but Mary certainly has managed to brighten up my life on several occasions! Thanks Mary! Here's to you!

I end, as usual, with an amazing picture of me. This one has Mary is in it, too. In fact, when the random stranger we asked to take it for us was taking it, he asked if we were married. We thought that was pretty hilarious.

This is Captain Danger out.

(P.S. I realize that this post might have come off a little mushier than usual. I'll follow it up with a super manly one. No offense, Mary, you're still awesome.)