Thursday, March 24, 2011

On Alter-Egos

Introducing Captain Danger's latest generally mild-mannered alter-ego: Mr. Chandler!

Here we see Mr. Chandler in his casual state, having just returned home from another day of teaching ninth graders. Mr. Chandler enjoys classic rock and is generally well-liked by his students. So, Captain Danger is Mr. Chandler by weekday, but his general dangerous self by night and by weekend. Observe the most recent ability Captain Danger has acquired, known simply as "Speed Mode."

In Speed Mode, Captain Danger is able to reach speeds upwards of ten miles per hour. I know, I know what you're thinking. "That's not possible! Even Captain Danger can't be capable of such speed!" However, it's true. You'd be surprised what a fat guy is capable of! Finally, I leave you, the reader, with one final picture. This picture depicts Captain Danger in his natural habitat, the outdoors, engaged in one of his many natural activities, protecting lives.

Now, you may ask, "Captain Danger, how are you protecting lives in this picture?" There are actually two ways that I'm doing just that. First of all, I'm looking so amazing that that in and of itself is saving lives. I'm sure that there are some people who would just keel over and die if I didn't look this good with such a perfect opportunity. Second, that piece of webbing that's attached to my harness is attached to a rappelling anchor, which is attached to a rope, which is attached to a person. Had the rappelling anchor failed (you generally have to trust the rope, otherwise you wouldn't be rappelling), I would have been there to use my enormous strength and bulk to hold up the person. It would have protected their life. Trust me. That being said, I have nothing more to say at the moment. This is Captain Danger out.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

On Europe

So, I've been teaching about Europe recently in class, and I've decided on the countries I'd really like to visit if I were ever to have the money to travel there. I realize that this eventuality is not likely to occur, but here follows my list of countries to visit. Granted, the rest of the European countries are cool, too, but these are the ones that appeal to me most:

Andorra--It is just cool how it's up in the mountains and it's so dang small!
Norway--Because fjords are AWESOME! I've seen pictures and I really want to go and see some in real life.
Switzerland--Because I think the Alps look awesome. Also, I hear there is some flippin' amazing canyoneering in Switzerland, and I would totally be all over that.
Italy--Because, I mean, come on. I'm a history major, and I took the coolest Roman history class ever.
San Marino--Because it's right there in Italy, and aside from that, it looks really cool. Also, it's just awesome that it's small.

So, that's my main list. Given the opportunity, I'd visit other ones, but these ones are at the top of my list. I know that some of my friends are probably going to want to stab me because some country they love isn't on that list. Well, I'm afraid that's how life works. At any rate, that's all I've got for the moment. I think I'm going to tell the two students that I'm waiting on that they can color their maps at home and then go home myself. This is Captain Danger (also known as Mr. Chandler) out.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

On Hoops

So, maybe I'm just complaining on this blog lately, and that really doesn't reflect my current life condition, but I have to say right now, the teacher work sample that I have to do to graduate really sucks. Why can't they just have me teach and trust my cooperating teacher to say that I did a good job? No one even looks at the stupid teacher work sample. It's just a hoop to jump through. Anyway, that concludes my rant. This is Captain Danger out.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Because I Feel Like I Should Post More Frequently...

I don't think I really have a lot to say right now, I just feel like I never write on my blog these days, and that is a terrible thing, because my writing is not something that the world should be without. That's for sure. Anyway, did you, my loyal readers, know that my left arm is still not to 100% combat readiness? It's very close. It's like 99.3%, which is good enough to do just about everything, but it's still not perfect, and that bothers me. I suspect that the answer to this dilemma may lie in the weight room. However, weight rooms are notoriously difficult to make it to. Whenever I think about going I think, "No, that's not necessary" and then I don't go. Does this show a lack of motivation on my part? It's possible. But, I ask you, what business does a guy who looks like this:
have at the gym? My point exactly. This is Captain Danger out.