Sunday, October 24, 2010

Late Night

So, I should be in bed right now, but I thought I would preserve this little lesson in the foreverness that is the Internets before I forgot how much I want to share it. Observe:

This is Cliff Chandler:
This is Cliff Chandler with a broken arm:
This is also Cliff Chandler with a broken arm:
Any questions?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

On Doctors and Arms

Well, for those few who haven't heard, and those who have, it turns out that my arm has been broken for the past two weeks! (and then some) However, I went for two weeks without knowing, and in that two weeks, while I thought I just had a muscle injury, I did some pretty crazy crap to do with a broken arm, and I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with myself, more specifically, with my pain tolerance. Yeah, go ahead and break my arm! I'll still drag my fat butt out of one of the most intense canyons in Utah! I'll still play football, ultimate and racquetball! I'll still lift a whole bunch of heavy boxes at work! You can't stop me!

At any rate, now knowing that my arm is broken, I figured I probably should see that doctor, so I went up there early to make sure that I could get in to see him and make it to class, and guess what? The doctor was late. Excellent. So, I had to leave to make it to class (which I normally wouldn't have minded skipping, but it was a final) and I asked some nurses about what I should do, and they didn't seem concerned. The conversation went down something like this:

Cliff: So, I can't see a doctor right now, but, my arm is broken, is there something I should do about that?
Nurse: I don't know, does it hurt you much?
Cliff: A little.
Nurse: Well, uh, do you want some kind of support for it, like a sling?
Cliff: That would probably be good. (Thinking, "I don't know! You're the one with the medical training, you tell me!"

Anyway, so now I have sling, and I wear it most of the time, though I have to take it off to do things like type, play the guitar, do my job, and play Starcraft. Aside from that, though, I generally leave it on, and it's a huge relief to take it off. In the mean time, I think my arm is probably up to about 50% combat readiness (at least) but I haven't really tested it, now I know that the bone is broken, I figure I should be careful with it. That being said, I make an end.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

On Doctors

So, I caved and went to the doctor yesterday. In retrospect, it may have been a bad idea. He felt my arm and had me try to lift it and then said that I need to see an orthopedic surgeon to get a real idea of what's going on. He did say that I've either torn my rotator cuff or else I've got a bunch of blood from bruising up in my deltoid that keeps me from being able to lift my arm. That second one sounds kind of far-fetched to me. So, I'm going to see an orthopedic surgeon on Monday. If he tells me I need an MRI, I'm going to tell him to stick it. If he tells me that I need physical therapy, I might go along with that. I'll see. Anyway, there's the update. Oh, and he also said that I should be okay playing racquetball and football. Not in so many words, but he said that when my arm hurts, it probably isn't getting worse, it just hurts, so I'm good. I just can't go slamming into walls. I think I can handle that.

Overall, I thought it was a pretty lame experience. Granted, I understand that he couldn't really make a definitive decision, but I'll bet I go to the orthopedic surgeon, and he says, "Yep, the other guy was right." and I end up spending more money on doctors visits. This, my friends, is one of the areas where our health-care system is screwed up. Okay, so maybe not.

In the meantime, my left arm reports approximately 30% combat readiness. Definitely not what I expected for right now. Granted, I could still kill most anyone right now, I would just have to use my left arm sparingly, as it would mostly stuck to my side. And when I talk about killing anyone, I mean any aggressor, like a suicide bomber or supervillain or something. Not just random people. That being said, I don't have much else to say today. This is Captain Danger out.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

On Research and Eisenhower

I sit here in my entryway, and I should be doing research. It turns out the nuclear policy of the Eisenhower administration is actually pretty interesting. It's too bad I can't come up with a thesis yet. Anyway, I don't feel like doing research, so instead I'm writing something that very few people will read.

I'm not even sure what I want to write about. For those who care, my arm is on the upswing, somewhat literally, though I still can't swing it very proficiently. However, I think it will probably be at approximately 50% of combat readiness by the end of next week. It may even be higher! All I want is to be able to pick it up onto a table without having to use my other arm or having to used my fingers like spider legs to get my hand to where it belongs. Give me that, and I'll be one happy man. Oh, that, and I would like to be able to turn my blinkers on and off, too.

Anyway, did you all know that the Eisenhower administration took us to the brink of nuclear war like three times? I didn't know that. In a survey of later American history people usually kind of gloss over the Eisenhower administration as a time of peace. Well, let me ell you, it may have been physically peaceful, but there was a lot of mess going on. If there's something I've learned in my study of history, it's that there is always something going on, no matter what it may look like at a glance. Take Utah when the Mormon pioneers just came in. Famine and peace? Not so much. I learned about that in my Utah history class.

Anyway, I don't think any of my readers are really that interested in this, I just felt like writing something. That being said, I leave you with a picture of an excellent man, at least based on the things I've read so far.
This is Captain Danger out.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On Arms

There are some things that you really don't understand what you've got until you've lost it. This was the case with my left arm. Now, don't worry, I'm not running around with a stump. My left arm is still attached to my body. However, the majority of the time it hangs uselessly at my side, because I can't lift it. Is that convenient? No. Not at all. You think, "Oh, I'm right-handed, so I don't need my left arm that much." Well, if you thought that, you're wrong. You would be really surprised at the number of things you use both arms for. Take, for example, getting dressed, or undressed for that matter. I'll bet you never tried to take off or put on a shirt when you couldn't lift one of your arms. It's harder than you think. Also, take driving. Closing the driver's side door without a left arm is a fight in itself, and then trying to do something with your right arm while driving is pretty well out of the question, because, while I have enough strength in my left arm to hold onto the bottom of the wheel, I can't really steer.

Thus, I finish complaining. I'll tell you what, I knew I was awesome, but before now I didn't know just how awesome, because I have to say, I'm pretty proficient and going around without a left arm. Also, the fact that I dragged my fat butt out of a canyon with only my right arm makes me pretty pleased with myself, too. In closing, I say this to you, my readers: Don't take your non-dominant arm for granted!