Monday, September 14, 2009


Now, here's something to think about. As discussed in the last post about myself, Captain Danger is all about engaging in dangerous activities. However, there's something else to think about. Does proximity to Captain Danger pose a threat to anyone?

Well, the answer to that varies. First of all, it depends on who you are. I would say that danger varies based on whether you are a friend, a woman, or an enemy.

First of all, for friends. One friend of mine will insist that I am a cuddly teddy bear. While I don't especially appreciate that, I can't deny that I am a pretty cuddly guy. However, for my friends, she is essentially correct. I will say, that though I carry my knives and will often threaten my friends with them, I would never actually hurt one of my friends. That just isn't in me. When I make a friend, in fact, they automatically come under my protection, and should an enemy come at them and I'm in range, you can bet that I'll be standing there, ready to stop said enemy, but I get ahead of myself. Suffice it to say that I will not hurt my friends, and when my friends are in my presence, they are probably in less physical danger than they would normally be.

Second of all, there is the category of women. Now, I will grant that many of my best friends are women. However, I have warned them, and I think that they understand the risk that being in my presence puts them in enormous danger for having their hearts broken, repeatedly. It's a sad thing, but I can't marry every woman who falls in love with me, and being in my presence is sure to make a woman fall in love with me very quickly. I can't help it, that's just the way I roll. Thus, though it is sad to admit, the women in my life can be in grave danger when they are near me. However, my close friends who are females have managed to, for the most part, get used to me, and thus the danger is averted, as long as they don't let their guard down.

Finally, we have enemies. Of course, this depends on the enemy. For example, I typically designate the opposing team in sporting events as "the enemy." Those enemies are typically safe. However, there are some enemies who, if they were in my presence, would face a large amount of physical danger. For example, Osama bin Laden. Yeah, he'd get it. I'm still working on using my satellite connections to find that punk. However, he's on the side, as he hasn't ever affected me or my friends directly, per se. The people who I think of most when I think of enemies fall into the category of muggers or burglars or the like. I asked said friend, who insists on calling me a teddy bear, if he would still think of me as a teddy bear if I were standing between her and some mugger-rapist with my knife drawn in her defense. She said that she wouldn't. I said that's what I thought. Also, if any burglar were to break into my house and wake me up, they would definitely find that they had broken into the wrong house. My knives are handy in my pants (which, granted, I'm not wearing when I'm asleep) while I'm asleep, and they would be brought to bear very quickly. And, if I could get to my coat rack, I could bring a machete and a grappling hook to bear. They would not be happy to be there.

Anyway, I think my point is made. If you are friendly to me, you are in no immediate physical danger. If you are an enemy, you are. It's that simple. Thank you.


  1. No, thank you! So long as I don't call you that dreadful four letter word that starts with a "C" I'm safe. :)

  2. So, what you're telling me is that I'm physically safe, but in horrible emotional danger?

    Dear Sir, I think you've just become the complete opposite of Edward Cullen. Well done.

  3. Your picture makes it look like Captain Danger is addicted to heroin. Is Captain Danger addcited to heroin?