Thursday, March 24, 2011

On Alter-Egos

Introducing Captain Danger's latest generally mild-mannered alter-ego: Mr. Chandler!

Here we see Mr. Chandler in his casual state, having just returned home from another day of teaching ninth graders. Mr. Chandler enjoys classic rock and is generally well-liked by his students. So, Captain Danger is Mr. Chandler by weekday, but his general dangerous self by night and by weekend. Observe the most recent ability Captain Danger has acquired, known simply as "Speed Mode."

In Speed Mode, Captain Danger is able to reach speeds upwards of ten miles per hour. I know, I know what you're thinking. "That's not possible! Even Captain Danger can't be capable of such speed!" However, it's true. You'd be surprised what a fat guy is capable of! Finally, I leave you, the reader, with one final picture. This picture depicts Captain Danger in his natural habitat, the outdoors, engaged in one of his many natural activities, protecting lives.

Now, you may ask, "Captain Danger, how are you protecting lives in this picture?" There are actually two ways that I'm doing just that. First of all, I'm looking so amazing that that in and of itself is saving lives. I'm sure that there are some people who would just keel over and die if I didn't look this good with such a perfect opportunity. Second, that piece of webbing that's attached to my harness is attached to a rappelling anchor, which is attached to a rope, which is attached to a person. Had the rappelling anchor failed (you generally have to trust the rope, otherwise you wouldn't be rappelling), I would have been there to use my enormous strength and bulk to hold up the person. It would have protected their life. Trust me. That being said, I have nothing more to say at the moment. This is Captain Danger out.


  1. i can't help but laugh at how you talk about yourself in this post as though you're a specimen in a nature book. it's hilarious.

  2. Yep, I think you just saved my life!