Well, it's Valentine's day, or, as I like to call it, Satan Day. Why do they even have this holiday? It isn't fun, and usually it just creates awkward situations. Thus, we have to the left, what Cupid should truly look like.
Here's Cupid with his usual nakedness and his usual ugly curly hair and goofy smile. However, his weaponry has improved substantially. There are probably some girls out there who would say that he has this weapon so that he can make more people fall in love with each other. I say that this isn't the case. I don't know where the idea that arrows won't hurt people if their tips are shaped like hearts came from, but it's stupid. Whether arrow heads are shaped like hearts or just triangles, they are going to pierce skin and flesh when propelled by a powerful enough bow. The same principle applies to minigun bullets. Whether the bullets are shaped like bullets or like hearts (something that I'm not sure is possible) they will do a lot of damage, and since it's a minigun, they will do damage repeatedly and very quickly. The fact that miniguns can't be used without mounting is beside the point. Miniguns are just awesome. In fact, I submit that we should abolish Valentine's Day and make a new national holiday: Minigun day. That's all.