Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Deadly Mustache

Something I've noticed in my time here at BYU, and in general, not just here, is that there is a whole lot of prejudice out there against mustaches. I have personally experienced it. There have been some times when I have decided to grow a mustache, just for the fun of it, and have been going up to work or to class or whatever. When I do that, I find myself getting dirty looks, especially from girls. I start to wonder what could be inspiring this, but then I look down a little bit and remember that my hair in on my upper lip, and everything becomes clear. What is the deal with that? Mustaches can look absolutely awesome (see above). I don't see what the big deal is.

I think that part of the problem is that most girls don't realize just how obnoxious it is to shave one's face. I can speak from experience, having experimented with shaving legs before (that doesn't impune my manliness, I shaved a spiral onto one and checks onto the other), that shaving your face is much more of a pain, in more ways than one. And, if you cut yourself on your leg, at least you can cover it up. If I were to cover up my face, I would have to wear a ski mask, and then I would look even more like a creeper, not that I think I really look like a creeper when I have a mustache.

So, I would like to examine this problem. I think that the main problem is that mustaches are typically associated with people like this character here:
Even I'll admit that that guy is creepy, but I don't think he would be less creepy without the mustache. Observe:
You see? Still a creeper. Therefore, I conclude that the mustache only has minimal effect on the creepiness of a person. I don't think I look creepy with a mustache, I think I look awesome. However, I am unable to exercise said awesomeness for the same reason why I am unable to grow out a mullet: because so many women are prejudiced against them, and I want to be married someday.

With that, I make my end. I don't know if I've really argued my point well, but oh well.


  1. I don't think that the argument of shaving your face being a hassle works for keeping a mustache. I mean, you are still shaving, you just skip the upper lip area. And I can promise that girls will not be sympathetic towards being consistently lazy at the sacrifice of your appearance. You realize that this is a group of people who put a lot more time and effort into their appearance, outside of shaving their legs. If your mustache makes you happy, then keep it, by all means. But don't be surprised if girls give you the same look they would receive if they were walking with totally unplucked eyebrows.

  2. Katy, I don't give girls who don't try with their appearance dirty looks, I just don't look at them. There's a differenc. However, I will say that you have a valid point there. I failed to take into account that girls do, in most cases, spend a lot more time on their appearance than guys. I guess that's just my chauvinistic tendencies coming out again.