There Comes a Time...

As they say, there comes a time when we must choose between what is easy, and what is awesome. Being awesome isn't something that just happens, it's a privilege, something to be used for the good of others, much like Dr. Octavius's philosophy on intelligence in Spiderman 2 (an excellent movie). Allow me to share a few ways that we can use our awesomeness for the good of mankind. Those blessed few of us who are awesome can't just proverbially hide our awesomeness under a proverbial bushel. We have to let it shine! The list that follows is by no means comprehensive, but it is a few good suggestions.

1. Looking attractive.

While being devilishly handsome (like me) is not necessary to being awesome, it doesn't hurt, and I've found that there are few people who, when they dress up all smart, similar to how I'm dressed up in the picture on the right, that don't look attractive, whether they be male, or female dressed in the female equivalent to a suit or whatever. Anyway, that is one excellent way to spread

awesomeness. People in your presence when you look this good can't help but to soak up just a little bit of the awesomeness that you are exuding.

2. Being Confident

While confidence is an important part of looking attractive, it is an integral part of being awesome, and also a great way to spread awesomeness. The less awesome can sense you confidence in yourself, in the fact that you can do what you set out to do, in the fact that you are awesome. This confidence can sometimes spread to others, if they are receptive, and make them just a little more awesome, possibly giving them a little bit of the gift that we, the especially awesome, have in abundance.

3. Being Hardcore

Is this part of the post just a chance for me to show off? Maybe. That is irrelevant. However,

when you do awesome crap and take pictures, which you show to people, or tell people all about it, they can't help but feel your awesomeness just seeping in their direction. Whether they use their proverbial awesome cup and scoop it up, applying it to their own lives, is their choice, but if you are spreading awesomeness by being hardcore and telling people about it, or even taking said less awesome people to do the hardcore things (this almost has to make them more awesome), you can't be held accountable for them not becoming more awesome.

By following the three preceding steps, you can be a large part of making the world a more awesome place, or at least making your general vicinity a more awesome place. Let your light so shine, and have a glorious day. This is Captain Danger out.

Captain Danger: Awesome or Egotistical?

So, as my history paper-worthy title of this post says, this post is the promised sequel to the previous one, as to whether my self-applied nickname, Captain Danger, is merited. Let us begin. First of all, how does one define danger? Dictionary.com says that danger is defined as " liability or exposure to harm or injury; risk; peril," " an instance or cause of peril; menace," or " Obsolete. power; jurisdiction; domain." While that last definition is obsolete, I definitely like it. Anyway, I am about to attempt, using real-life situations, that my superhero name is merited. While doing so, I may just prove that I'm awesome, and, that being the case, I figure that I can just call myself whatever the heck I want and have it be merited.

So, it stands to reason that Captain Danger would do dangerous things, correct? Well, let's start perusing his life. We'll start a while ago. Here we have Captain Danger, his preferred weapon in hand, one of his first victims in other hand, preparing to deal out some real damage. Okay, granted, it's a coconut, but how many people do you know who keep machetes in their house? I would guess that, for most of my readers, the answer to that is "not many." If there's something that denotes "exposure to harm," I would say that tossing a coconut up in the air and then wildly swinging at it with a machete does.


Next: we have this gem. Here I am, after a day of manhandling heavy fence posts into place and bending barb-studded wire to my will, standing at the edge of a precipitous drop into a place called Adam's Crick, which, I have to tell you, would not be fun to fall in. Trust me. One of the few things that make Captain Danger uneasy is proximity to heights from which he could fall and injure himself, and so, this picture definitely shows "risk."

As further proof, I offer the following:Now, the reader may say, "Now, Cliff, that's not dangerous! You're just riding a horse!" To that reader, I say, "You, sir (or madam) obviously don't know much about horses!" I may look to be very much at my ease, and I am in this picture, because I'm awesome. However, what many readers don't know is that most all horses are seething cauldrons of deceit and destruction, just waiting to destroy you when they feel the slightest hint of fear coming off of you. If you don't believe me, ask me sometime about the time when a horse sat on me and I couldn't lift my left arm for about a week. Not a pleasant experience. That was definitely "peril" if you ask me.


Gunfighting, as I'm sure most people will agree, is very dangerous. The idea of pacing off and then turning and firing definitely implies "liability or exposure to harm." Pieces of lead flying at fantastically fast velocities are very likely to cause harm to bodily tissues. Thankfully, I, Captain Danger, have yet to sustain harm from said pieces of flying lead. However, the chance is always there, as long as the gunfighting habit remains. However, this picture most definitely denotes danger.




On the right, we have another instance of exposure to harm by proximity to a precipitous drop. Granted, this time I'm clipped in to a rope, but you never know when said rope is going to give, and then where are you? You're stuck in a hole on the side of a wall with no way down. Of course, I'm Captain Danger, and as I have a pretty good hope that I will one day gain super powers, I'm not too worried. I'd just have to wait it out. But, for most people, this would be a very dangerous thing to attempt. Keep that in mind next time you trust a rope. "This rope could break at any time, and I have no hope of acquiring super powers in the future. Crap."


And, as the final piece of proof, I offer the most dangerous thing that I participate in: consorting with women. If anything denotes "an instance or cause of peril," it would be hanging around with women. While their company can be enjoyable, they tend to have evil boiling just under the surface that can explode at any time. Just look at that angry face on the specimen at the left!

With that, I conclude. I, personally, feel that the appellation "Captain Danger is entirely merited. I leave it up to the public to decide for themselves. The Cliff Chandler rests.

More on Awesomeness

I was shown this picture a while ago, and since then it has brought a smile to my face, if not a complete laugh, every time I've seen it. It is purely genius. However, this picture invites a bit of commentary, and since that's what I do on my blog, I figure I will provide said commentary.

First of all, what makes the cat so awesome? It's hard to say, but any dipstick could see that this cat just exudes awesomeness. It could be its disheveled appearance. It could be that it looks a little wet. it could be that it looks rather annoyed with having its picture taken. I could also be its positioning, with its ringed tail out in front of it. More than likely it's a combination of all of those things. However, I think it's pretty easy to say, without a lot of argument, that this sign is telling the truth and the cat pictured is awesome. I'm not a cat person, but I'm still willing to admit that this cat is awesome.

Second, it's obvious that this is the main joke of the picture, but I'm going to go ahead and explain it anyway. Posters like this are usually put up by people who are concerned about finding their lost pets. However, this poster is not concerned about that at all. It's just trying to get out the fact that this cat is awesome. I salute this effort. Far too little effort is put into things that aren't really for any particular purpose and are just fun. Granted, there are problems in the world that we could be fixing, but we can't do that all the time. Some time needs to be put in to just having a good time and helping other people to do the same. In fact, if more people in the world laughed more, this world would be a better place in general, so I salute the person responsible for this sign even more. Well, that's all I've got. With that, I make my end.